TIM AROUND THE WORLD
Seeing the world, one week at a time.
CHAPTER Seven: TEN THOUSAND MILES
(In 2024, I planned and executed a round-the-world adventure, spanning all six occupied continents in about a month. This is Chapter 7 in a blow-by-blow retelling of how it all came together, and how it all went.)
NOVEMBER 14 - PANAMA CITY, PANAMA
MILES TRAVELED: 2,754
It's 3 a.m., I must be traveling.​​​​​​
​
Honestly, I don't know why my Uber app told me I needed to catch a ride at 3:30 a.m. to catch a 7:20 flight, but who am I to argue? Especially today.
​
You see, this travel day is sort of the lynchpin of the whole trip. I'm trusting two different airlines to make a very critical connection that will take me across the Pacific. I'm trusting that the weather will be OK, that the airplanes won't have a mechanical issue, that the airlines won't have any labor strife that messes this up. After the experience from Day 1, it made me nervous. I did the best I could, scheduling the longest layover possible without forcing me to spend the night in LAX.
​
The rest of my scheduled flights, until the flight home, are all direct. This one is where it could all go wrong.
​
So here I am, at Tocumen International Airport. Three and a half hours early. I'm pretty much the first one at the airport this morning. I was definitely the first one to order coffee from the little cafe in the terminal.
So off we go, relatively on time. The seven-hour flight from Panama City was long, but uneventful. The poor lady sitting next to me was clearly a nervous flyer, with her rosary beads and Virgin Mary trading card fully deployed for takeoff and landing.
​
I got a little sleep and watched 'GeoStorm'. That is one stupid movie. We get to LAX around 11:30 a.m.
​
Originally, I was fully prepared to spend the day in LAX, like Tom Hanks in 'The Terminal' or something. My flight to Sydney wasn't scheduled to leave until 9:20 p.m.
​
But as luck would have it, some friends of mine from back in North Carolina were actually going to be in L.A. that very day, in town for a graduation that was taking place that weekend. So, we decided that I would take the FlyAway Shuttle to Van Nuys, and then we'd meet up and they'd drive me back to LAX (where they would be picking someone else up that night) in their rental car.
So that's what we did. Heading off to check into their Air B&B before heading to a restaurant/sports bar with pretty good Mexican food (hey, it's Southern California) and a margarita or three.
​
It was actually a really nice day in LA, and after the heat and the rain in Panama City it was nice to sit comfortably outside and enjoy a meal.
​
But then, it was time to head back to LAX. And L.A. traffic was in full 'hell mode' on this Thursday afternoon.
A side note here: I'm originally from Southern California, so I'm well aware of the chaos that can be Los Angeles traffic. But I've lived in a town of 1,600 people now for eleven years, so I have lost the ability to drive in it. Thank God I wasn't driving on this occasion. It took us probably 90 minutes to go the 15 miles between Santa Monica and LAX. Yikes. But at least I had plenty of time to spare.
​
LAX, along with London-Heathrow and Atlanta, is one of those airports I try to avoid. But alas, this time it wasn't possible. And even though I spent most of the day outside of it, the four hours I had inside of it seemed interminable. And by the sound of it, someone in this terminal is eating a baby. Yikes.
​
But I digress. Qantas' boarding procedure seems a bit chaotic at first, but once it got going it was actually pretty efficient. We left a bit late, but again, as early as I was getting to Sydney, it didn't really matter.
I got a bulkhead seat (a must for a flight this long), and my seatmates were two guys from Tennessee who were headed to Melbourne for a work trip. They were friendly enough, and some conversation was had, but I did catch a few hours of sleep between Fly Me to the Moon and Inside Out 2 For a 15 hour flight, it wasn't as bad as I was expecting.
Australian Customs is friendly but strict, and we were warned several times not to fudge the facts when filling out our entry forms, because they WILL deny entry. One of the questions on the form was about where we've been over the last 90 days.
​
Since I'd been to both Colombia and Panama recently, the lady asked if I had a proof of Yellow Fever vaccination... AND I DID! I was actually glad she asked for it, because that shot was expensive, and I'd hate to think it was needless.
Uber actually has its own line at the Sydney airport, so it was relatively easy to grab a right to my hostel in a part of town called The Rocks. Once again, it's far too early to check in, so I stashed my luggage and set off for a little tired sightseeing, and to grab a few initial pictures of the Opera House and the Harbour Bridge.
As I'm wandering around The Rocks, I stumble upon a fantastic little street market called 'Picnic Under The Bridge', which features food from pretty much everywhere (Sydney seems like a wonderfully diverse city) and a little craft market. Still having a little time before my room was ready, I sampled some Indian Masala Chai, some Turkish Gozleme and a German Berliner (jelly donut). Mmmmmm.
By the time I get back to the hostel, my room is ready so I grab a quick nap and a much needed shower and change of clothes (at this point, it's been about 41 hours since I woke up in Panama City), and then head out to the Opera House Bar to meet some friends for a few drinks.
And that turned into a whole story of its own.
I met Australians LeAnne and Rosie on the tour of Morocco I took in 2018, and when they found out I was coming to Sydney on this trip, they offered to meet me for a drink at the famous Opera Bar right on the waterfront in front of the Opera House.
​
The weather had cleared up a bit by the afternoon, so it was a pleasant 15-minute walk from the hostel down to the waterfront, where we met at a table outside. The bar was packed on a Saturday, and had some live music playing nearby.
​
We caught up over a few glasses of Australian wine, and then LeAnne told us that her son was doing a comedy show in another part of town that evening.
It sounded like fun and a good way to quickly get over jet lag, so off we went on a local train and bus to a whole different part of Sydney. Once we got there, we decided it would be a good idea to grab a quick bite to eat before the show, so we started hunting around for a place for a fast dinner.
​
Finally, across the street was a place simply labeled 'Sports Bar'. Since we were running out of time, we quickly entered, sat at a high top table and ordered some wings and beers.
​
That's where things got interesting.
​
Excusing myself to use the restroom, I noticed that the waitresses in this 'sports bar' were wearing very skimpy, see-through tops. In fact, some weren't wearing a top at all.
​
Oh, dear God. I just brought two ladies into a strip club.
​
Sure enough, by the time I got back to the table, they had noticed the pole dancing going on just inside a curtained room near our table.
​
Well, it made for a lot of laughs, one hell of a story, and a picture we were definitely NOT supposed to take.
Ah, 'Fanny's Kitchen'. Oh, and by the way, unlike the US, the term 'fanny' does NOT mean 'butt'.
​
It means the front side of the female genitalia.
​
So, after that finishing our meal, we quickly paid the tab and headed to the show, which was held in a nearby former Salvation Army facility.
​
They sat us in the front row. IN SOFAS. You do not put a severely jet lagged man in a sofa in the front row. I honestly don't remember much of the show... I'm pretty sure I zoned out a couple of times. I hope it wasn't noticeable. I'm sure the show was fantastic.​
Anyway, after the show, Rosie and LeAnne got me back to The Rocks and we parted ways. Definitely a memorable evening.
​
And by 11:30 p.m., I was fast asleep in my hostel bed. Three continents, 52 hours, 10,000 miles and one strip club after waking up in Panama.